Reflecting on the Past, looking ahead

This week I have scheduled a meeting with the Activity director at the Veteran's Home of California.My plan is to do a presentation and demonstration of how I make hand-painted gift rocks. I will provide each observer/participant a syllabus and a step by step guide as to how to find a decorate a rock of their very own.

This venture will be a first for me.I have never demonstrated or have revealed my craft to anyone.I have chosen to show veterans how to do this for one simple reason.I want to give away what has been so freely given to me, so that I may keep what I have.

What I have, is a gift that has been given to me.

I will tell the story about how I lost a job that I loved and ended up out at the beach, feeling hopeless.It was there that I asked God for help to know what to do next with my life.I began to pick up rocks along the beach and discovered that they just felt good as I held them in my hand.They seem to help me focus as I meditated,asking for guidance and direction.

Art has been a theme in my life, but it hasn't always been on the front burner... so to speak.Having graduated with a degree in Art in 1974,my skills were not in demand and no one was knocking at my door.I found work in the Hospitality business as this was the type of employment available to me.Although I also eventually found work in the field as a production artist,this got repetitious and really was not really my calling.

Being a people person, I was certain that service positions in the Hotel or restaurant industry were what I was best suited for; working usually up to two or so years as a bellman,server,host,valet etc. After many years and set-backs,I finally landed a great job as a Concierge at the Culinary Institute of America.

It was there that I was able to step up my game.I held this position for a much longer period than any job prior (and) after seven years,felt like a seasoned professional.This was my career...or so I thought.

Politics exist in any corporate environment where people want to move ahead.This was very true at the CIA and the careers of some great people were being formed around me.One day,after having watched several episodes of the T.V. show "Survivor", I became aware of the importance of forming alliances.It hadn't occurred to me to rely on the approval or disapproval of anyone to do a good job.Ultimately, this attitude did not serve me as one of my co-workers misrepresented me to my supervisor,and when my word was challenged I was shown the door.Or, put another way, I was voted "Off the island."

That hurt

Well back to the beach.I brought few rocks home and began to paint them and was surprised at how stunning they appeared to be.I then explored ways to decorate them that would really make them shine.The biggest revelation was when I found some glow in the dark paint that transformed these simple rocks into something beautiful.

I gave a few to some friends,and more people began asking me about them.I did not want to sell them initially, because they were like jewels.I knew which ones were the real dazzlers.Two summers ago, I began to sell them at the Farmers Market in Calistoga.Since that time I have been able to keep my car payments up and a roof over my head.The good lord has provided well for me.

But the story does not end there.In fact, my creativity has blossomed and I am continually thinking of ways to showcase these rocks. Last year I had an Art show featuring posters of my work at the St. Helena Public Library! For almost three years I have been building a business that is becoming my life's work, and the opportunities continue to unfold.

Freaky February

The days have been sunny and up in the 70's which is fairly unusual for February in Calistoga.I ran into my friend Larry Nowlan who fly out with his wife Heather to take part in the ceremony at the CIA's Wine History Museum.Larry is a sculptor who does very high-end relief sculpture in Bronze.He just completed several more busts of some of the luminaries in the wine industry here in Napa. Ceasar Chavez was one, and I know Robert Parker was the other.Larry is a positive, happy go lucky guy who enjoys life. He and his wife Heather are both likeable people. It is just a little freaky that he keeps appearing at various intervals in my life.He must have something I want. We have made arrangements to meet Tuesday evening before he heads back home. He and I met when I was still working at the CIA. I told him I was a tea totaler (which I am).I had a cup of tea this morning before heading off to church.

Life goes on...

MacWorld

I met my friend Veda at MacWorld in S.F.and we had a great time exploring the exhibit floor.As you can tell from the photo to the right I took advantage of the Adobe "Space Alien" exhibit and really hammed it up.Later,We went downstairs to a booth where Veda was one number away in a raffle for winning a computer backup storage device.When the numbers were announced she smiled, groaned a bit in disappointment, and walked from there to have lunch across the street at Jillian's Restaurant. It was then that we rested our feet and chowed down.

Months ago, I submitted an image for the Digital Gallery at MacWorld, and discovered it's location in the Moscone West's Atrium reception area. I was proud to have it posted along side other artists who were also having their art showcased.Below is a picture of Veda displaying my Rock Art with all the charm of Vanna White.Moving on,We left the event after collecting lots of "Schwag" and quaffing numerous dairy-free cheese samples that were being passed out on the showroom floor. This was around 5PM and so eventually Veda ended up driving back to Novato to meet with her friend Bill.

I went from there to my sister Martha's house on 21st Street,not too far away.My brother-in-law Ernie was there preparing a fish dinner with mashed potatoes and green beans. I helped cut the green beans and herbs while he cooked the fish. The three of us had a nice meal together, and then it was time for some entertainment.Ernie opted out, but Martha and I drove to the Fillmore Auditorium for a concert that was free after I had won 2 tickets on KRSH radio a few days prior.

Performing was Ian Hunter of MOTT THE HOOPLE fame. He put on a knockout show which was very loud. Luckily we found a suitable viewing place upstairs overlooking the stage. At one point, the music was so loud I could see my sister holding her fingers in her ears. A nice lady standing behind us noticed this, and gave each of us a pair of ear plugs! (How absolutely thoughtful don't you think?) The show ended around 11:30 PM and I dropped my sister back off at her place and got to Calistoga sometime around 1:30AM Saturday morning.

Thankfully, I was up early enough to participate in the Farmer's Market and even made enough cash to defray the cost of my trip to the city. Life is good!

Lavern's 80th Birthday

Today is Wednesday, January 30th and it LaVerne Oyarzo's Birthday. What a great time it was to see all my friends from O.L.P.H. ( Our lady of Perpetual Help ). LaVerne has been a registered nurse for many years and was a native of Oakland. She also was the Mayor of Calistoga for four years in the nineties.I know her as a regular at daily mass, who stays after to say the rosary on Friday mornings.She has been an exemplary person who has helped a lot of people throughout her life. The lunch was a fabulous hot meal of either Chicken or Beef with potatoes, veggies and a spinach salad which was catered by Knickerbockers of St. Helena.

Early January

Today, I am trying to further my art career by putting together a workshop for veterans. I want to teach veterans the fine art of painting rocks and creating something that they can use for meditation. I would like to say that I use the rocks that I paint for meditation purposes, but I have to admit that I just like to look at them an leave them on the window sill. Next door I hear a lot of movement going on,so I suspect that my neighbors are moving out. I cannot tell you how many people have come and gone from that apartment over the years.Usually they are young married people who are expecting their first baby. When the baby comes... they leave! I think that this place must be a fertility site. The realtor could perhaps charge extra if they were to advertise it as such.

Today I did the usual... painted rocks,blogged, called friends and made plans for the future.My downstairs neighbors have their in-laws visiting.They have a son named Juan who is very friendly and outgoing but i suspect he has ADD (attention deficit disorder ) because this kid talks too much and lacks the ability to focus and reflect.His father, Juan Sr. opened up to me about his child, and how difficult it has been for them both. He was told to put his child on Ritalin but Juan said that it only puts his kid to sleep in school. Right now I think the doctor is working on adjusting his dosage. It was apparent that this kid was very high strung, yet very inquisitive and bright; Just unable to focus.I suggested meditation to his dad, but mine was just another of the many opinions that have been offered to him. I hope and pray that this family gets the help they need.

The Day After

Christmas was pretty much a wash this year. The weather was miserable and their were numerous road closures and flooding.I stayed put and went to mass early on in the day and spent the rest of the time Skyping or calling my family.

The 26th was a better story. I drove into S.F. around noon and stopped in the Castro to see if my Sister's store was open ( it wasn't ). Supplies are needed at this point for my painted rock business and this store has them.After feeding a parking meter a buck -fifty, I ended up in a bagel shop having a Jalapeno bagel with cream cheese and lox ( yum ).

Then I drove up the hill to my Sister's house where most of the family was to meet to celebrate my grandniece's fifth birthday.The only person there at the time was my brother-in-law Ernie, who was busy preparing some Sweet and Sour pork for dinner that evening. Right around three, the rest of the crew showed up. My niece and her son, Liam came in from Hawaii. My other niece Marian, along with her husband Colby and their kids, Balin and Cooper were present. Then their were the other cousins which included Camille,Mila,Mico,Jack and Maisy were there after having been ice skating at the Yerba Buena Center with the parents of these little people; Namely Ian, Edward, Mary Kay, Antonella,Colby and Marian. The elders were Martha,Ernie,Hamish,Rita and myself.

Just for the record,we were all treated well and Cooper was very pleased with many of the gifts she received.

Oh blah dee, Oh blah dah

Hearing about our economy plummeting over a “Fiscal Cliff” sounds a lot more plausible than the world ending. Besides, with six more hours to go, it looks like another 24 hours may even be within the realm of possibility.

I think the Beatles had it right in their song, “Oh blah dee,Oh blah dah” that is, that life does go on.The Mayans were predicting that we would be entering a new state of consciousness and that their calendar was not really foretelling a harbinger of doom.

Admittedly, I was kind of entertaining the idea of a big catastrophe,but being a timid soul about those sorts of things, I digress.It is so much better to think that the world is entering a new age of Peace, Love and Understanding.

Being a child of the sixties,I still subscribe to the notion that foretold a new age where harmony,sympathy and understanding with mystic-crystal revelations would be the order of the day! A song by the vocal group The Fifth Dimension called ”Aquarius” was teasing us on into something new, better and different than those stodgy old Nixonian years. The musical “Hair” lent some credence to this overal vision by having it included in their Broadway show.

Okay, color me a hippy idealist, but those hipsters taught me to have a heart and enjoy the joyous times that were to be had in San Francisco during the 1967 summer of Love.In many ways I still try to live the dream, but reality will ultimately ground you whether you like it or not.

By the way, the image below was created in Photoshop awhile back (more like 2002 rather than 1967), but still looks like something from that earlier era.What can I say? Once an aspiring hippy…

Now an aging Beatnik.

Vegas Odds

It is an hour away from my sixty second birthday.Which, by the way, is December the Thirteenth, not December 21st.I better get to enjoy my birthday before the Mayans predict my future a little more than a week from now.

I don't think the world is going to end on Dec. 21st, but the world as we know it will end (and begin again) in the same moment. Like the Beatles sang in their song, "Oh Blah Dee, Oh Blah Dah" life goes on.Since time is man-made anyway, who really believes that it is going to run out?

Perhaps it will

I am fairly certain that my body will eventually decompose and that my memory won't matter nearly as much as I had hoped it would; Except when I'm sitting around trying to recall what the standard view of the world was, is, or is going to be. The only reason for this is to have a nice chat with my new friends, if their are any.

Now what are the odds of that?

Raining pigs and puppies

I wanted to say that, rather than " Cats and Dogs " because that has become so much of a cliché. The roads are slick and filled with unraked leaves that serve as little slip pads wherever you go. Normally, this weather would find me depressed and forlorn. That was my Modus operandi. Anything to fortify a particular foul mood.But hey ! I've changed! I now realize that everything goes back to my perspective.EVERYTHING.

Last night, I had a show at the public library. When the show was over I was carting my belongings back to my car and the CART that I had resting on the sidewalk, rolled off and over into the street. It was pouring rain and my inventory was all over the place. I took this opportunity to shout many expletives at the top of my lungs.

Luckily, only one person was within earshot and they kept walking. I grudgingly picked up all my supplies and noticed that I had broken one of my display tables ( more expletives came out ). When I finally drove off, having packed the car haphazardly the song "Feeling Groovy" came on the radio. I shouted " I am not feeling f*#&@ing groovy G -dammit !" Then I took a spot check inventory, and apologized to my higher power. I also realized how hard I am on myself for "being stupid".

Whether or not that previous statement is true is of no consequence. I was just absent-minded in where I placed the cart. I began the slow process of self forgiveness which is so necessary for my recovery. This is all part of my daily spiritual program. As I write this, I invite God into my daily affairs to build and work with me. If this sounds sanctimonious, I'm sorry, because I know that I am no saint. In fact, my life has been about coming to terms with my inner demons.It would be nice to have my character defects become assets, but I have yet to see anyone who has been able to have their quick temperament produce anything of lasting value.

Am I grateful for my temper? That's a tough one to answer. As I yelled, the crow in the picture flew away.

The Meditation Challenge

I have meditated sporadically over the years. I always gain a lot of serenity, peace and clarity when I do. I can even recall my first attempt. It was in 1967 and I had ridden my bike up to Mt. Davidson in San Francisco. The exercise was quite aerobic because the hills were huge getting up to the top of this hill. When I reached the top I was able to see Forest Hills and Portola drive from a particular vantage point. I found a grassy knoll and laid my bike down. I think I even got in the Lotus position. Slowly I closed my eyes and began to breathe slowly. I must have been there for around 20 minutes to a half hour. The fog was rolling in and I began to get cold.

Riding down the hills back to my home in St.Francis Woods, I had the Beatles tune, " The Fool on the Hill" playing in my head. The Sergent Pepper Album had been out for some time and this song made me think of where I had just been. It also made me think about Jesus and how "The eyes in his head see the world spinning round." It left me with a melancholy, yet hopeful feeling that I will never forget.

Later, I began reading books by George Leonard who wrote about the inner life of Sports, and how transforming that experience can be for people. I began running seriously after that. Different meditation techniques were used like something called,"Soft eyes" where I would intentionally soften my focus to allow a more restful attitude to inhabit my being. This helped me with my emotional states throughout my teens and twenties.

Garlic Mashed Potatoes

My apartment is filled with the fragrance of the stinking rose. I have put one large potato in my sauce pan while I mash the other. I have to do this one step at a time because I only have one pan deep enough for the potato. It's fine. This is how I work. Then when ready, I mash it up and add the dill pickle juice, apple cider vinegar, pepper, mayo and salt. Later, I will mash in the garlic to put it over the top. YUM !

I have become known for my garlic mashed potatoes, Especially during the holidays. It is my signature dish if you will. Today is Thanksgiving and I was going to celebrate it with my nephew Ian and the rest of my family at his house in Oakland. As it turns out, I won't be attending because my friend Veda who was also invited is now living in Sacramento with her sister.The drive would just be too long. I love my family and I wish them well, but I have to look after myself in these matters.

My nephew will be moving to Seattle soon and I hope that I will be able to see him before the big move.I am certain that he has friends there, because that is where he attended college. Seattle is fairly close to my other sister who lives in Portland, and a niece who is also living in Oregon.It will be a good move for him and his family and now I have another reason to head north during the summer.

As for now, I have made the potatoes and will sit here an eat them myself if no one else does.

Vuja dey

Today is Monday, Veteran's Day. The weather this past week has been noticeably colder. I've been wearing a fleece vest and flannel shirt most days, and long johns and a ski cap to bed most nights. Thankfully, I haven't gotten a cold. Lately, I have been pondering life's mysteries. Like for instance, How it is possible to love someone and not really "like" them. Another one that causes me to ponder is how our bodies and minds can react to an idea whether or not it has any basis in reality ( i.e. An imagined experience or actual experience not being differentiated ). It has been said that if you experience it, it is the truth... but the same thing believed is a lie. In other words, we are able to have "non-experienced" experiences ! ( I think that alcoholics would call this a blackout ). Anyway, if it seems like Ground hog day all over again, perhaps you are having a non-experienced experience. Like what the French may call a "Vuja dey".

2012 World Champions !

What a great Series! This was a Cliff-hanging, nail-biting, say your prayers, bust out of the bushes bonfire of a a game.The San Francisco Giants provided fans with a showcase win over the Detroit Tigers in a four game sweep that was a pitchers duel from the start. Thankfully, they pulled it out with a 4 to 3 win in what proved to be the most exciting post-season romp in years. Pablo ( The Panda ) Sandoval showed his prowess securing the MVP status to win a new Corvette and his own field of dreams baseball diamond! Every player, from Buster Posey to Matt Cain and Sergio Romo pulled their weight. Not ONE sub-par performance. This was the most enjoyable event I've witnessed in YEARS !

Angel's Trumpet

This is a picture of a beautiful plant that is growing in my friend Don's backyard. He has had it for many years and it has been producing these beautiful blossoms. I was so inspired by the beauty and look of the plant that I took a picture, and then did a sketch. This final rendering sort of reminds me of the paintings of Georgia O'Keefe. It seems that their are very few artists that have made their mark in the last century or so that haven't had an influence in one form or another.

It is nearing late October and the leaves on the vines are beginning to turn red and yellow. All the grapes have been harvested and the nights are getting colder. Today it was up in the mid-eighties however, and the next few days are slated to be hot.

The Giants are presently tied with the St. Louis Cardinals in the National League pennant race. They go back to face the St. Louis fans tomorrow night. It looks to be a tight race at this point.

Acceptance

Some of us think that Acceptance is an insignificant lightweight topic. Acceptance, like surrender requires ego deflation at depth;Especially when after one has reached a degree of acceptance… no change has occurred. In other words,accepting the fact that we don’t always get our way.The universe is running perfectly whether or not I accept things exactly the way they are, or exactly the way they are not.Acceptance allows for the unveiling of the will of our Higher Power. Trying to see things the way our Higher Power sees them is difficult and even presumptuous at times. Even accepting that our Higher Power may not even be present in the situation calls for gargantuan acceptance.Acceptance is not agreement or compromise in it’s calling forth results. It stands alone. Sometimes one must stand alone in the face of rejection

Peaceful Serenity

The hikes I take in Bothe State Park put me in a good frame of mind. Two miles up to Coyote Peak for a lookout onto this beautiful Valley, then two miles back down to the car (Which I usually park over on Larkmead lane to avoid the $8.00 charge at the ranger station). The smells of late summer are ever present. The decaying leaves and forest smells harken me back to an easy time, where people would make the time to camp and sing songs, etc. I didn't see much wild life except for some hawks and a little muskrat that scurried across my path.Usually, one can encounter families of deer, skunks, quail, turkeys,coyotes and even an occasional rattle snake. Luckily, no mountain lions or bears have been seen around here in some time.These hills used to be full of them around the beginning of the 1900's or so I've read.People have reported an occasional mountain lion, but that is rare. The picture here is of a Redwood Grove which is my idea of a place where only peace prevails.

A Happy Pappy

It is Friday and I am doing my usual thing. Catching up on correspondence, preparing some Spirit Rocks for the Market[s] this weekend, and sharing my experience with others.

The sun came out around ten this morning,just after I rode my bike to church.It was cool and pretty out, like it usually is in Calistoga. I received about six fresh peaches from a friend who grew them on her property.

So much to be grateful for…

I went and visited my neighbor who prepared some chili rellaños for a delightful meal. She and her husband Andres have a young boy named Kevin who is three.Kevin enjoyed some magic tricks I was demonstrating, as did his grandfather who was also present. It seemed that his grandfather was more mesmerized than Kevin at some coin disappearing tricks I had up my sleeve. At one point however, he noticed the pendant that I had around my neck. I took it off and put it around his neck.Then I told Andres to turn out the kitchen lights. This amazed him when he saw that the pendant glowed in the dark! Immediately, he wanted to buy it from me. Initially he offered fifteen dollars for it, but that was a lot lower than what I usually sell them for; and so we agreed on twenty (only after I explained to him that I usually charge thirty at the Farmers Market). He was pleased with his purchase,and I was happy to see it on another Happy customer

Beautiful Skys

Last night and today we witnessed some spectacular looking skyscapes. They almost look like Salvador Dali had a hand in painting them. The drive this morning down to Napa showed a lot of hot air balloons launching up towards this ominous looking sky. It made me think about how summer can present us with such varied conditions. It looked like a rain shower may occur, but more likely it was monsoon weather system coming up from the south. Yikes, I never thought that this blog would be relegated to a talk about the weather!

Perhaps this tells you about how bloody exciting my life has been lately.

Yep, I'll take boring any day over the alternative.

Affirmations

"Everything I need is now coming to me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways for the highest good of all concerned.”

“The light within me is producing perfect results in every phase of my life now!”

“God’s loving protection and guidance has shown me the way to be in every situation.”

The more I repeat affirmations that stick, I am programming my subconscious mind to listen and believe that wonderfully great things will occur in my life.

I always get the distinct feeling when something is not moving me in the right direction. My energy shifts and I begin to resort to old habits and ways of thinking. Today, I am grateful for the friends that have stuck with me throughout my life in spite of my bad behavior, selfishness and indifference. I truly wish to step into to the light and bring everyone with me.

Yikes !

I had a nice hike with my friends Dave and Kathi over the Fourth.We hiked from the Sonoma Coast inland about three miles to Pomo Canyon. Along the way we saw beautiful groves of Redwoods, Scenic views of the coast and an abundance of wildflowers and plants.That evening, we watched the fireworks from Kathi’s deck overlooking Petaluma.

The next morning I noticed that my sunblock hadn’t covered all the spots I had wished, and saw a small angry patch of red on my right arm. It did not itch, but began to blister as the day went on. That night I put some Technu lotion on it, showered and went to bed. The next morning, my left arm from my elbow to my wrist was red… and it itched this time. Just as I suspected, Poison Oak !

For the past week, I’ve been alternating between Cal Gel and Technu lotion and cold water sponge baths. This is not my first encounter with this stuff, and each time I go for a hike I pray that it is my last. Luckily, I’ve head it off at the pass and so far have not been infected on any other area of my body.I’ve taken special care to wrap my arm so as to not spread the oils around.

Anyway, this bout with the devil’s botanicals hasn’t ended yet but it is subsiding. My friend Don emailed me to see if I was up for a hike at Bothe Park on Friday.

I think it is a little too early, don’t you?