Another Fire?

What is now known as the "Valley Fire" has followed the Jerusalem and Rocky fires in Lake County. Now a large percentage of Middletown and Harbin Hot Springs have been devastated.The fairgrounds here in Calistoga is now filled with evacuees and the story has reached national attention.The climate of grief is palpable.Yesterday, I was at the Farmer's Market down in the city of Napa selling my gift rocks when I was approached by a young woman named Kathy.She was looking over the items I was presenting on the vendor's table. She paid a compliment about the rocks when I asked where she was from.

"Hidden Valley" was here response.She was on the verge of tears when I came out from behind the table to give her a big hug.My heart sank as she told me about her neighbors who had lost everything.Thankfully,Her house had been spared, but what was she going to return to? She had been driving around aimlessly when she decided to stop at the Farmer's Market.That brief moment with her enveloped my being for the rest of the day.Since that happened,I have been thinking about this event constantly.It is already Wednesday, but it feels like it just happened.Most everyone is still in shock as the donations and volunteers have been streaming into the evacuation shelters.

What the drought has wrought

The Rocky fire as it is called, has now spread over 68,000 acres... spanning three counties here in Northern California. The land is dry and brittle from our long drought here in California.It started on July 29th, and here it is the 5th of August and it is only 20% contained. Thirty-nine residences and 52 outbuildings have been destroyed. It has been reported that over 3,400 fire personnel have been employed, with over three hundred Fire engines having been dispatched. This thing is huge to say the least.Hotter conditions are expected as the week progresses.Clear Lake resides in the next county over,which is Lake County. The fire has enveloped an area southeast of a small town called Middletown.People in Middletown are on alert as the fire has been spreading.The cause for concern is that the fire can change direction at any time,all depending on which way the wind is blowing. This is a scary situation for everyone involved.It is hoped that the fire is contained soon, as this is making everyone quite weary and restless.

Mourning another tooth loss.

This is the second tooth I have had to have pulled this year. This one was a molar with a gold cap (which I don't know if I was compensated for yet ) It was quite painful, but I am relieved it got taken out. I will have to wait at least six months to see if I am suitable for an implant. My sister Rita is not convinced that implants are the answer. She has not had as much luck with them ( and they were taken out in short order for her ). Implants or not, the truth is that I am getting older and shit like this will start to visit upon me.Teeth are my friends,and I don't like to lose them. Last week I week I got a cortisone shot in my left foot to alleviate planter fasciitis. I doubt that I will ever run again, but at least I will be able to go on hikes. It seems like their are a lot of people my age that are comparing notes when it comes to medical maladies, as each of us grows older.Thank God for Medi-Cal and in the very near future,Medicare. I understand that at least my prescriptions will be paid for; and I only have to call ahead to Smith's Pharmacy to place my order.The saying goes that, "Getting old ain't for sissies!" No truer words...

On a lighter note, I went to hear a Cuban singer last night at Sonoma University's Weil Theater which is gorgeous and acoustically flawless.His name is Carlos Varela. The performance was moving. He spoke about his homeland in Havana growing up in a time-warped country under Communist rule.He sang beautifully and soulfully getting the audience involved through clapping and singing along. His brother, Aldo Lopez-Gavilan provided a solo piece that caught everyone buy surprise.His skills and vibrant expression on the grand Bosendorfer piano was the best I've ever heard.It was jaw-dropping.People gave him a standing ovation, to which they shouted and cheered, Bravo! Many were moved to tears.The trio, which included bassist Julio Cesar Gonzalez made for a evening of unique and thoroughly enjoyable music.My friends,Bill and Veda Florez went out later to Mary's Pizza Shack for a Pesto Pizza before heading home.

Pursuing Beauty

Here i am holed up, in my hot and sweaty apartment thinking about all the rocks I have to paint to keep my inventory current. If the creative juices were flowing, my work would bring a little more satisfaction. Unfortunately, I have been rehashing a lot of similar designs. Thank God for color variations and the many combinations because it helps provide each rock with a distinctive quality.Staying focused can be difficult when you have a bunch of neighborhood kids who scream and shout, celebrating their long days of summer.My personal code of patience and tolerance carries me through on most days.Staying inspired by finding things that stir the imagination reminds me that art is everywhere. The spillage on the sidewalk seen in the pic below is a sample of found art. Staying engaged in the process of seeking beauty wherever it can be found keeps me in a good frame of mind.Now back to the acrylics.

To the Beach!

It is important to get away to the coast every so often. My new friend, Robert and I went to collect sandstones over at Russian Gulch. The weather was overcast in the beginning and the clouds began to part as we went back. One has to go through a jungle of sorts to get to the beach. The trail is about a quarter mile, and this time of the year the plants are abundant and lush. The whole area was rich and green, teaming with life. The beach itself is rather small. I would say it is not over one hundred yards, from end to end. Drift wood and sea weed would cover the part of the beach where I took the following pictures. I went back to my car to get a few Spirit rocks to take some showcase images.Robert was content just to lie down on the sand.

School's out for the summer

Today is June fifth and the days are heating up again. The Spring has presented us with lovely, cool days in the 60's and 70's, but when it hits 80 and above... I roast. This weekend is expected to be over 90.The bike rides I've been taking to stay in shape have paid off. I am getting in shape and my attitude has been good. Notice I didn't say great, but good.The Warriors basketball team however, is doing great, and I mean great! They are in the NBA finals, and have already won their first game! That picks my spirits up for sure.

The other day my neighbor's kid(s) graduated from elementary school. I remember Monica (The girl on the left in the picture below) as a cute little four year old playing with her brother, and now they both are soon to become teenagers. These growth spurts get me feeling a little sentimental and weepy.

I suppose that as the days get longer during summer, my time on the planet seems to be getting shorter, I don't know.Kids just grow up too fast these days. I want them all to stay cute and lovable. I suppose they are still lovable.

Grieving a lost molar

Monday I had a molar extracted from my mouth.I have spent my whole life maintaining my smile. Frequent trips to the dentist when I was younger were common place. I never had to wear braces because I was told that if you don't stick you tongue in the space where the tooth came out, your teeth won't come in crooked.I believed that advice.

I used to have mercury fillings, but as an adult I had all of them removed. My health and well-being improved considerably.I have three teeth with gold caps, one porcelain, and have had an assortment of surgical procedures including three root canals and a periodontal scaling.One of the root canal treatments was botched. Dr. Scott did not remove the whole root and over time the pain came back whenever I bit down on my left side.

Eventually the tooth got infected and the dentist told me that I had a choice to make. Live with it, or have it extracted and replaced with an implant. I again, put the matter on hold figuring that I would just tolerate the pain and would have it taken out when the pain became unbearable.Well, that happened. Dr. Politz from Napa's Oral and Maxillofacial clinic had the job of removing the tooth.

Later, I was given a prescription for antibiotics and painkillers.As it turned out, I only took one painkiller and have nineteen pills left over.I don't know what to do with them.If I flush them down the toilet the will leech into the water supply.My plan is to return them to the pharmacy an let them deal with them.

Today i have a gaping hole where my molar used to be.I will have to wait six months before being considered for implant surgery. Great. Well,that will give me time to save up three grand to have it done.I still miss my molar.

Hard Work and Manifestation

I like to shop for supplies to add to my Rock Painting business.Going to the beach used to be a regular sojurn. Traveling from Calistoga to Jenner is usually a day well spent. I get out of town, take a relaxing ride to the coast and I spend time in a secluded area to commune with nature.This is where I recharge my creative batteries so to speak. Many times I will find a rock or several rocks to use in my craft.

Returning home, I will have stopped at several art stores to pick up other supplies that I would use. Stickers, paint, brushes, glue, glitter and types of paper are just some of the items I am always in search of;To make something individual and unique. The work is usually the most enjoyable part of the creative process, but that depends.

Today, I purchased a magazine called "Fructose" which contains stories about artists like myself. I read things of this nature, and go to museums and galleries to support the culture from which i draw these ideas. The ideas are the components, not the media which I use to bring them into being.The ideas fuel the fire which drives creative expression. Otherwise, I am just practicing... always practicing.This is true especially when their is no clear idea where or how an idea will manifest, and thereby move this whole process forward.

A Good Friday

Today is Good Friday and it's already off to a good start. I've made a bank deposit and have paid the rent. Now I only have to pay my quarterly taxes and I will be able to breathe a little easier, at least until next month. I am going to the 12pm services at the church I attend, and plan to keep silence for three hours ( yes, it is possible ! ) Then I will have a nice lunch and go for a bicycle ride to Bothe State Park. All in all a great way to spend the day in Calistoga.

Getting away with bad behavior

I've been a roque and charlatan in my past, and I usually have paid for this nonsensical behavior somehow, some way. If not immediately, then down the line. When I was young, taking stupid risks was a way of establishing "Street cred" or at least having "Cajones". It was important then to be something more than a dweeb or non-entity amongst like-minded delinquents.Activities ranged from throwing a party when your parents are out of town, to petty larceny or sneaking into a movie theater without a ticket. 

Keep in mind that adults are not immune from this type of behavior ,or setting someone up to act it out for them. At times, all that is needed is a simple dare to propel one into performing in this unconscious way.Other times, all we need is to dare ourselves. Impulsivity usually plays an important role in when and how these deeds are carried out.

A case in point when, as and adult, I recently decided to beat the morning traffic by jumping onto the car pool ramp that leads to the toll plaza of the Oakland Bay Bridge. I queasily passed the signs that urged me over and continued right to the toll gate. There I saw a light flash, logging my transponder as I passed through. Then nothing happened. I proceeded across the bridge into San Francisco.

Today, I sit silently grimacing at the thought that I may have been caught. The fine would be well over two hundred dollars. I was wrong and I knew it. Why did I do it? The simple answer has always been that I thought I could get away with it. I no longer subscribe to this way of thinking, nor do relish this behavior. In fact, I find it deplorable. If I am issued a ticket, I will pay it and vow never to do that again. 

The consequences of this type of behavior were not taken into account. Is it that I think that I am different, or that the law does not apply to me? No. If anything, it is a carry over from my youth where I found it necessary to assert my independence, away from what I perceived were those oppressive, authoritarian autocrats. People I disdained, just by virtue of the fact that they easily took it upon themselves to tell me how to behave.

Running Buddies

Nancy and Sandy are the sweetest, most fun-loving women you would ever have the pleasure of knowing. We met up again at our friend Dan McGill's memorial service last Wednesday. Dan was the catalyst for our excursions throughout the Marin Headlands, Golden Gate park and Mt. Tamalpais. He would give us a call in the morning and tell us where and when to meet, and off we'd go on a four to six mile run. We would usually have a nice coffee clach at the end of our run where we would share ribald stories and unique viewpoints.

Nancy and Sandy have a real down-to-earth way about them, which makes them both attractive in their own special way. Sandy is living in Mexico now, and travelled all the way to be at Dan's service. A true friend, indeed. It was great seeing both of them and I hope that we will meet sometime soon in the near future. We are all accomplished marathoners and natural endorphine junkies. Because of this fact, May we all live long and prosper.God bless you Nancy and Sandy... and of course, Dan.

Here's a video of another old codger that we knew who inspired us.

Bike Riding in the Napa Valley

I must say that having a bike to get around is a lot of fun, great exercise and saves on gas. Lately, I've been riding to meetings, to church and to the grocery store to pick up a few small items and have been enjoying every minute of it. Last week I drove from St. Helena to Calistoga (14 miles round trip) and was returning just after sunset. Recently, I have recognized how important it is to be seen on a bike and how for a few dollars you can equip your bike with some necessary safety features like a blinking headlight and taillight. I also have purchased a small bell to warn walker/runners when I am approaching.

Just when you are heading south on Washington street in Calistoga, you will run into a great bike path which takes you all they way to Dunaweal lane. You will pass by vineyards, a glider port, a duck and goose sanctuary, a model airplane field, a little league diamond and several small ponds. It is easy to cover a five miles stretch in no time and come back home feeling refreshed. Below is a small pic along the route I recommend.

My Wheels...

Scary Nice Weather

That is the best way to describe the weather this January. Every week has been more and more beautiful. The sun has been shining , the birds are chirping and the mustard is already in bloom. In other words, it's been scary nice weather. The central and east coast have been experiencing scary "not so nice" weather. New York city just escaped a major snow drop; probably the biggest in history. I hear this as I pour another lemonade, and prepare for a little bike ride through the vineyards.We Californians don't know how good we've got it. We have no right to complain about any fog, wind or inclement weather that has befallen us in the past two years. Make that five. I am very grateful to be living in the lap of luxury and still able to keep a roof over my head and food in my stomach. Only the grace of God could manage this. Below is the entry to the "Castle of Love" only a few miles from my home.

A New Year

Like most people, I enjoy this holiday, but don't celebrate it like I used to ( Thankfully ). New Year's is a good time for list making. What do I hope to achieve in the coming year. I think I attained one goal out of the six I made last year at this time. I made a nice looking rock stand for those who want to display their Spirit Rock prominently.

Yesterday, I went for a hike with my friend Dave, and then met up with my family ( including my niece, nephew, brother-in-law, sister and assorted grand nieces and nephews ) at the "Castle of Love" near where I live in Calistoga. It was loads of fun exploring the castle and taking lots of pictures with our I pads, I phones etc. I am so happy that I have a family like the one I do. The newest member is Casey, who my niece adopted this year. She is a very sweet fourteen year old who had not been off the island of Hawaii since her birth. This was her first big adventure to the mainland. Below is a picture of the crew as they appeared yesterday.

Christmas Memes

I don't know if this happens to you around this time of the year, but I have what I call "The Christmas Song Meme Syndrome". It entails waking up to a Christmas song that you perhaps heard at the mall, saw on TV, pondered on an escalator or maybe listened to at your daughter's Christmas recital. There it is, playing over and over in your head as you shave humming merrily along. Then, when you try to shake it by thinking of another tune, it reappears in your head holding you hostage for the rest of the day. You can't get rid of it no matter how hard you try.

ARRRrrrrgh !! Enough is enough. I promise not to post any audio files or midis to distract you, because I feel your pain. Suffice to say that even the mere mention of the name of these particular tunes will begin to burn holes in your brain. It seems that the only way to rid myself of the continuous loops is to pass these bouncy little ditties on to you !

They include Jingle Bells, Here comes Santa Claus, White Christmas, Winter Wonderland, Deck the halls, Grandma got run over by a reindeer, et al.

I'm sorry, I because all I really wanted was to wish you a...

"MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS ! "

ARRRrrrgh !! (tee hee)

Happy Birthday, Eric !

December was a great time to have a birthday as a kid, because we usually got presents both on our birthday and on Christmas. Next Saturday, I will be turning 64 on 12/13/14 ! My oldest friend Eric is turning 65 just the day after.

One cannot help but think that something very auspicious is going to happen on that day because it is that last numerically sequential date of this century! A lot of people get married on that day, because it makes it very easy to remember your anniversary, and my guess is that it binds a couple for eternity whether they like it or not. Eric lives in Eugene with his lady, Colleen ( They were not married on a numerically sequential day ), But now he is a grandfather, and devotes much time spoiling his grandchild when he is not putting the finishing touches on his new house ( Eric is a very talented builder and craftsman ). Those Oregonians know how to build stuff.

I spoke with my sister in Portland who said that they were enjoying the sunshine, and we have finally experienced more than a week's worth of rain... in such a long, long time. It is my hope that we have a long WET winter here in the Napa Valley. It would please us all to see our reservoirs and rivers fill up to overflowing, just because the summer left the land and trees so parched.

Today I've been preparing for the big Annual Holiday Gift show at the Black Stallion Winery near Soda Canyon on the Silverado Trail. This event is an invitation only event for the Craftspeople, and an open house for anyone who wants to attend. Lots of delicious snacks and finger food will be passed around and I hope to sell a lot of gift rocks for the holidays.

It will please me if Eric reads this blog, because he is generally the only one who checks to see if it has been updated. If you are reading this, beware, as I might mention you in my next blog.Well, I'm happy to have him as my oldest and dearest friend and I wish him the very best birthday this year, and for years to come. Happy Birthday, Eric. YOUR SPIRIT ROCKS !

Another Loss

I met Bob and Lou Crutcher at a CCE event at Roberta Meyer's house back in the early 80's. He had bright red hair and other than that, I thought that we had little else in common. I was wrong. He and I both shared common addictions.He was the owner/director of an iconic recovery center in St. Helena. His wife Lou, who he met at the St. Helena Hospital worked with him there. He was involved in alcoholism recovery here in the Napa Valley and contributed a great deal to many who went through Crutcher's Serenity House ( which has since been closed). He was also a veteran. Bob Crutcher was a class act. I don't know if he ever reconciled his relationship with his son Eddy, who had moved to Hawaii. But he and his sons were very much alike in their charismatic personalities.He drove a Harley and lived an enviable and full life. Later on in his life I had learned of a few setbacks, but he did not drink over these events and died sober. His humor and gentle spirit will be missed.

Friends that stay with you

This is a photo of a dear friend of mine that just recently passed. Although I fell out of touch over the years, we still remained strong in a heart-felt way. The woman I am speaking of is the one on the right. Probably the most talented and gifted person I have ever had the pleasure to know.

Her name is Roberta Meyer. I met Roberta early on in my sobriety, and she offered workshops for anyone with a desire to be in Communication. I spell that with a capital "C" because that was her gift. She brought that ability out in people just by her willingness to listen with intention.

She taught us that the degree to which we discount ourselves, is the degree to which we will damage others. In other words, love yourself, and know that you truly make a difference in the lives of the people around you. She authored two books, held many workshops and seminars, was an accomplished ballet dancer and taught dance throughout her life. She began programs that assisted families and youth at risk. She was a powerful speaker and  personality.

It was Roberta who listened when I had lost my mother to cancer. Ironically, she died from the same disease. She heard the language of my heart and I will forever be grateful to her for that. She was beautiful inside and out, and anyone who knew her would say pretty much the same thing.

May her Spirit live in the hearts of the people that knew her, forever.

This Week So Far...

Monday I had a meltdown, Tuesday the Giants won the World Series. Wednesday I went for a hike around Lake Hennessy with a friend named Jim. Thursday I went to a men's meeting. Friday I prepared Coffee for the morning meeting and went to Thelma's house for Boysenberry Pie and whipped cream which Cathy brought, later i bought some fire cheetos for the trick or treaters who came by my place for Halloween. Saturday was the Farmer's Market where the rain lightened up and I made a modest income. Today is Sunday. A week of ups and downs.

I should mention that I went to see my physician on Thursday and was prescribed a medication. I am willing to give it a go. Doc says three weeks and then to return to his office for an update. It's a mild anti-convulsant called Lamotrigine. It is prescribed for bipolarity.

The doctor assured me that this has been very effective in treating people with mood disorders. I believe now that I fall in to that category. Over the years I have tried a few anti-depressants, believing that I just suffered from what I have learned is agitated depression. These medications have only served to make me feel a bit like a zombie. Emotionally flat. As an artist I was left generally uninspired and unmotivated. I gained weight and noticed that my libido was not was it was before taking these medications. I stopped taking them at different intervals throughout the late 90's and early part on the millennium. I stopped entirely around 2008. I don't like taking things that can be abused. These medications do not fall into that category.

Recovery from alcoholism has taught me to proceed cautiously when it comes to seeking advice and treatment from professionals. I have known my physician for over thirty years. I trust his judgement around his practice. I have been to other so-called professionals and have experienced many adverse results over the years, but have always returned to what has made a positive difference in my life. Good friends and fellowship has never failed me in times of desperation.
I am truly grateful for having been brought up in a loving family, however dysfunctional... we are all miracles. I am also grateful for my sobriety ,and the people that have supported that over the thirty seven years I have been drug and alcohol free. My life has been an incredible adventure and I would not trade my
problems for anyones. I have discovered how my experience can benefit others, but I know only a little. No one likes a know it all who is sometimes right.

Today, It is clear to me that I know very little yet am being directed through the belief in a Power greater than myself . That Power continues to serve me to the degree that I ask to be shown, and am willing to accept the outcome.

I am blessed to be living in a beautiful Valley, and thank God every day for the opportunity to live here.

Nice Autumn Weather

Friday brought some overcast skies which seem so unusual since they haven't been around in quite awhile. Warm, sunny and blue-sky days have been the ho-hum norm around here. It almost wants to make me snuggle up to a good book in front of a fireplace somewhere ( yea right, you hopeless romantic ). Last night the Giants won the National league pennant which was a good excuse for fans to go bonkers up and down the streets of S.F. ( saw it on the 11pm news ). I even painted a few extra Giants logo rocks to sell at the Market tomorrow.

Okay, so I haven't a license to sell Giants swag... just send me a cease and desist letter and I will stop. I've also painted a number of Mandala rocks and a few Halloween rocks with spooky faces like Frankenstein. This is a good time of year for that sort of stuff. Lately, these blog entries have been rather mundane because I find my sense of excitement has somehow flattened out.

I long to live more spontaneously as I get older. Below are some beautiful Hydrangeas. A lady at the Market let me take a picture of them. Are we all happy now?