No cause for the blues.

I'm listening to The Paul Butterfield Blues Band, which has been an acquired taste over the years. I first heard them back in College and was surprised to hear that many of these Chicago Blues men went on to play with many of my favorite musicians in and around the Bay Area. Today I understand Blues as being a style, a way of life for some and perhaps an attitude for others. It does not have to mean something depressive though. This rich creative tradition has been born out of tough times...and we have all had tough times.The trouble is that it is easy to get stuck there.As the saying goes, "If you don't dig the blues, you better check your shoes, you might have a hole in your sole."Why there is a pack of smiling dogs beneath this post, I haven't a clue. But hey, dogs live the blues.

Later, Gator !

This is a rock I found, that is actually a piece of petrified wood that I decorated with glow in the dark paint and florescent paint. It so resembled a gator that it had to be transformed and placed in this poster advertising the Louisiana Bayou country. I sometimes find that it is easier to find art in nature than to find the nature of art (if that makes any sense )

The White light of the Holy Spirit

This image has been modified in Photoshop. The original is of a glow in the dark, crochet design made by my good friend, Veda Florez ( see exhibit B ). She is a very creative,resourceful and inventive person. She has re-imaged herself many times over the course of her life.This motif is held above my window sill where it can be observed both day and night. It attracts sunlight during the day, and moonlight at night. This is the same light which surrounds us all. This light is known as the White light of the Holy Spirit,which will guide and direct us in life.

Energy Drop

Today, my energy level plummeted to a low level. My back has been painful too, as I am recovering from lifting lots of boxes yesterday at the Food Distribution program.The usual daily communion service I attend at O.L.P.H. ( Our Lady of Perpetual Help ) has been put on hold because my ass is dragging.Could it be food poisoning? Could it be the Melatonin I ingested last night to bring about sleep? Could it be that my body just said, "Stop?"

We shall see if my health is restored to its regular vibrancy tomorrow. If not, a visit to the doctor may be in order.Below is me at my usual, overamped energy level.Even if I look like a cat being electrocuted, the image is fitting...well, maybe a bit exaggerated.In any case, I will survive.Incidentally, a new stove arrived at my apartment yesterday and I no longer have to be concerned about being electrocuted while I prepare dishes.Stay tuned.

Interdependence day

This year's Fourth of July celebration hs given me pause.Wouldn't be nice if we as a nation could extend ourselves to those who may need us? Who need our resources and skills? Wouldn't it be nice if we could learn from the simplicity and free spirit of a less developed nation, like parts of Africa for instance? Interdependence perhaps, because our Independence has been overextended. Now it is more like,"We've got ours and don't need you... so leave us alone or we will hurt you." Is that what our Independence is supposed to look like? I don't think so.

What would it be like if these impoverished nations had what we needed? Would we continue to be a bully to the less fortunate to make sure we stay empowered beyond necessity? This very notion is atrocious, and yet is seems entirely plausible given the current state of the nation...and dare I say, "The World?"

Information is the watchword because the message travels faster than ever, usually, at the expense of its validity, authenticity and most importantly, it's effectiveness. Welcome to the Tower of Babel and what some call "Fake News", which by all accounts is what the Internet really is dishing up.When and if the meek shall inherit the earth, it will be a wonderment what the planet will look like then... and the meek may have no use for it.

Catching Up

I am happy today. Even if don’t know if my loving Higher Power would worry about the world’s problems, or my problems. I sense that my loving Higher Power would feel compassion instead. I feel encouraged by this loving compassion, and it helps me to tackle my problems as best as I can … while being aided by the courage my loving Higher Power has granted me through the Serenity Prayer.

"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

The work I do is blessed by my attempt to connect to this Power which I choose to call"God". I do my best to honor my intuition and the gentle leanings of my conscience.My God conscience dictates my behavior in many instances.

This brings into question: What am I holding onto? or more accurately,What am I willing to let go? The strings to my wallet are pretty tight.Even if I am not my money, my money is directly connected to my survival.This usually brings me into focus.Although I would like to think that I am not squeezing each nickel presently, I have learned to save and plan for the future, not just my bills. So, I guess you could say that I am still "Catching Up".

Beware of the do-gooders

Some people don't mature until late in life.They are not at fault.Taking responsibility for oneself can be very nuanced and challenging...Innocence befriends those who carry their childish ways into adulthood.This perceived innocence justifies their every thought and action. Social awareness is not the same as social responsibility as is explained here. Social awareness is when we are cognizant of our surroundings and the people inhabiting our space.Behavior resulting from this awareness can demonstrate our intentions which, in a social setting is in many instances, performed for the benefit of others. These forms of expression can manifest as grandiosity,self-righteousness or a multitude of other actions which ultimately appear either selfish or altruistic.

When the justification of our actions capture the observation of another,a problem can occur.People read intent,which can be mistaken. Arguments may ensue,and although they are meant to render a proposal, will not always reach an amiable conclusion. When someone has silenced another by "Winning and argument", it does not mean that they have converted that person.A return to reason will not direct an unruly child to correct action. A cry for help can be messy, and it's response requires an exactitude of timing, action and empathy. This is the behavior of an adult.

Appearing altruistic at times can mask smug pride in attempting to garner the favor of others. Anyone standing in the way of this desired approval, will usually be rendered unworthy by those observers standing in judgement of such behavior.

Sketching and painting

These days that is all I do during the day, draw and paint...except hit the refrigerator now and then. I listen to my Amazon Prime songs and have a few cups of coffee in the morning to get started.The rock supply has been low lately because their is a large creek/river I would have to cross to get to the beach at Russian Gulch.This means that would have to go by a landscaping place to pick a bag of rocks. Usually Mexican Pebbles which are smooth and especially suited for the work I do. My paint supply and printer are all in working order, and since the days a short and wet... I tend to get things done. Today I am gearing up for Valentine's day which should be a good sales day at the markets this weekend.

Nothing to fear, but fear itself

The second big storm of the season has arrived and it looks to be just as bad as the first, which was a doozy. Here I am in my one-bedroom apartment, hoping that the roof doesn't leak and that we all can hang in there as this one passes ( fingers crossed ). I've been invited to attend the Men's club meeting tonight at six, and I don't want to go out in this mess. Speaking of messes... the parking situation here in my complex has gotten even more complex.

I sent an email to the property manager and tried to work out a compromise as to who can occupy open ( non-designated ) parking spaces without causing blockages.His strategy was to send letters to all tenants, making me the one who is complaining and therefore the scapegoat if this issue escalates, which it might. My suggestion was to have a sign that reads "No visitor parking". That is sure to raise some hackles. Even if it would read "Tenant parking only", one can be assured that would undoubtedly be ignored.

I am the only tenant with one vehicle. I am respected because I have lived here the longest, but I am also the designated gringo in the hood, which feels kind of weird.I love my neighbors and have respect for each family, but I don't think that they all get along with each other as well as I seem to get along with them.The last thing I would want is for anyone to turn against each other, or most especially... me !

Right now, I just intend to stay warm and not project on how this situation may unfold. I seek only the highest good for all concerned and am ready to make compromises if necessary.

Big Storm coming this weekend

Today it is Thursday and it is sunny and beautiful...no matter how cold. Tonight I will probably have my space heater on, along with my long-johns and down comforter to keep me warm. The only problem with this is that it gets quite stuffy with my bedroom door closed and the window left open just a crack. Okay, don't worry... I won't die from carbon monoxide poisoning because I have an alarm for that. I also have a smoke detector that would protect me if it doesn't go off every time I cook an omelet or have the shower running.Life in a one-bedroom apartment requires constant vigilance.You just can't take off without checking to see if you've left the oven on,etc.

It's quiet today,even if the kids are off from school. They must all be inside so I don't have to listen to the screaming and yelling. Hey, it's better than living in a retirement community. Here, you will know that life is happening around you, whether you like it or not.My friend Eric texted me from Oregon where he is surrounded by four feet of snow. He too, is staying inside doing some woodworking.It's probably muffled and quiet there except for maybe his power saw whirring along.I'm painting a batch of rocks even though I suspect that the Farmer's Market may be cancelled this weekend. We shall see. It's no fun in the rain, but I show up with my canopy nonetheless.The vendors who tough it out during these periods are my pals.

Still on the mend

Today is the day after my 66th birthday.Over the last couple of weeks I've been recovering from Poison Oak and a nasty chest cold with a accompanying cough.I have spent well over fifty dollars on over the counter medications like Technu, Poison oak bar soap,itching relief gel, rash spray,homeopathic pills and liquid oil removal soap.Then for the cold I have stuck to herbal and non alcoholic medicines for my chest cold. These include Mentholatum deep heat rub,Herbal tussin, Alka Seltzer relief and two bottles of Source Natural's Wellness Formula. Friends have suggested drinking a shot glass full of Apple Cider Vinegar mixed with garlic and ginger.Yes, I have done this and it has proved to be the most effective in alleviating the cough. Now if I can only get rid of the poison oak!! My birthday went well. I had a nice lunch at a restaurant called "Redwood" in Yountville with a friend.The salad and pasta dish were excellent as was our waiter, who even if a bit snobby, was generous with his information and attention (We were of only a few guests in the restaurant this Tuesday afternoon. Later on in the day, I was invited over to my neighbors' house for a surprise. There, Andre,Dinora, Kevin, Allen and Ruby presented me with a brand new wristwatch! It is a beautiful watch and now I have two Timex glow watches to last me a lifetime.The Quintero family are my new best friends.

Under the weather

I am typing this blog with a throbbing head cold and congested chest. I am also in recovery from a bad case of poison oak which i acquired while mushroom hunting at Salt Point a few weeks ago.This, coupled with some stormy weather that has put a damper on my participation at the Saturday markets here in Calistoga. In other words, I have passed on them now, two weeks in a row.Here it is, almost December and I am so pleased that I saved enough money over the summer to get me through this upcoming season.I only hope that I will be well enough on subsequent Saturdays to return to my favorite spot at the Market.Karen, our market manager will be the arbiter of that decision.

December is also going to be a pretty busy month with all the hoopla that comes along with holidays this time of the year.A Posada, My birthday,Christmas eve dinner,Farmer's markets all add up to a lot of preparation.But hey, I'm sober and it's not all about me anymore! (Even if I am probably the only one reading this blog).If you are reading it, and you just happened upon this... I wish you a HEALTHY,HAPPY and SUCCESSFUL Holiday and may God bless you and your loved ones throughout the New Year

Prisoners of our own device

Between Podcasts,Email,Instant messaging,Facebook,Facetime,Blogs,etc. I'm not going anywhere. I find myself sitting on my ass most days and not getting out even to walk to my car.This is so different from how I used to conduct my daily schedule which included a five mile run every day (That was back in my 40's and I'm 65 now).Technology's appeal has made so many things AMAZING.So much so, that this experience can only be called an"Amazing Fatigue". Being distracted by that which is so demanding of our attention is becoming common place.Smart phones proves this emerging phenomenon. People in the future will become so adapted to looking down at the next big thing,they will likely form a permanent crook in their necks.

All this undivided attention is actually dividing our attention more and it is not praiseworthy.What is thought of as multitasking is just something being put off until later,to what seems to hold priority in the moment.Two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time...both in our brains and in reality.These behaviors can foster restlessness ,irritability and impatience.Children are the ones who will suffer.Any screened device will intrinsically pull them away from us and away from physical contact.Both babies and adults need human contact.They need this physical closeness for survival.Babies need human contact in the first hours of life or they die.This is fact.No electronic device can remedy this.

No matter how convenient,expedient or practical the digital age has become,their is a downside appearing on the horizon.Their are many examples of how the computer has been holding us hostage that you,the reader would better be served doing twenty jumping jacks than reading this blog.Highlighting our own shortsightedness,computers are making everyone and everything easily accessible,whether we like it or not.Linear time has become shortened as events jump-frog our ability to appreciate and digest their significance.My hope is that we can bring unity, empathy and compassion to our world.Thank you for reading this blog and taking time to consider your contemporary habits.I now must untether myself and get on to the next task.

Smiling Irish Eyes

Yesterday, after I looked at a newsletter called "Medium", I found a very telling, humorous piece called "Resting Bitch Face". It was a cartoon drawn by an Asian woman who apparently was cursed with a face that looked like she was angry or annoyed, Even when she wasn't! That got me to thinking... how is my face or body language structured so that it would be easy for people to misjudge me? Or, how do I perceive other people to be, based on how they look?

My "Smiling Irish Eyes" have been both a blessing and a curse over time.Some see my resting expression as kind, even approachable. However,if I am not beaming with mirth then the opposite must be true.(yes, I admit that I'm an easy read) and although I know myself pretty well,my serenity is proportional to my expectations as my emotional maturity is to the degree of my humility.

If any environment does not allow an upset,rest assured, that these smiling eyes would then be telling some lies! The wise, arched slits are likely to be as authentic as an emoticon.More accurately,I blow people away with my anger because I use it to be right.People who know me, know when I am truly upset.Conversely,my persona portrays a happy-go-lucky guy.Well,at times I am,and so are they! You see, I can even fool myself.Most everyone has to fake it to survive in the real world.

Then their is the question about perception. How much does appearance play into one's self esteem these days? Is it all vanity or are your eyes failing you.They probably are, especially if you are between the ages of sixty and seventy. How we put ourselves out there is constantly being evaluated in popular culture.

I am pleased that most decent people don't require some precise criterion for physical beauty or acceptability.Usually if a person is well mannered, pleasant smelling and socially responsible then in some way they pass mustard. Youngsters may eschew this, because such matters would easily considered to be shallow, or irrelevant.The political polarity we witness today, both in our citizens and government, has the uncanny ability to cause conversations to destruct on the spot...beauty and attractiveness not withstanding.If you take the moral high ground on an issue,appear confident and you may be accused of "Shape Shifting" in spite of whatever position you may take.

How then,does our appearance inform our imagination? It was Einstein who was quoted to say that"Imagination is more powerful than knowledge" and it was self-image psychologist Maxwell Maltz who tells us that"The imagined experience and the actual experience are only as true as our perception, and cannot be differentiated in the moment." Therefore, is it only vain-glory to imagine oneself as "Impactful," even if our physical appearance may tell someone otherwise? And who, daresay, would make that determination?

Reality,such a concept

Harvest Art Contest

Lucky me.Last June, I won a poster contest at Summerfield winery and received a luncheon, tour and two bottles of premium wine (that I promptly gifted away).Recently,I entered another poster contest at the Castillo D' Amorosa. The harvest poster had to include a reference to grapes,wine, harvest and with the text "Harvest 2016" on it.No problem. I searched my computer for an appropriate image that I could use for a background and came up with the front entrance to the "Castle of Love". This would work because it is easily recognizable to anyone who has visited this property. Then I added and old grape wagon that was used for transporting grapes during the previous century. Lastly, I added two clusters of grapes to border the top end of the poster after adding text.The font I used was "Blackmoor" which looks like something right out of the renaissance. Lastly,I composed all the elements using Adobe Illustrator and saved it as a .pdf file. Well, wouldn't you know I made it into the top ten list and received a pass for a tour and tasting. Not bad for a fun project on a slow day.

Hot Jalapeno Omelet !

Okay, So you only see a stovetop with a bunch of different ingredients.I already scarfed down the delicious omelet and two multi-grained pieces of toast.Get over it.

Today, I went to the freezer and took out a Lyder's hash brown paddy, dropped it into the microwave where it was nuked for 30 seconds. Then I placed it in an iron skillet with sesame seed oil which was now at it's smoke point ( vent is turned on, so as to not set off the fire alarm).

Now,I flipped the taters, added salt and pepper and began mixing up a farm fresh organic brown egg in a cup.This was added to the frying pan.Then I sprinkled some shredded jalapeno pepper cheese into the pan along with diced onion and pickled jalapeno.You should be so lucky.

Lastly, I flipped the whole concoction over and let it fry until crispy brown.Lastly, it was placed on a plate with the two pieces of toast spread with Kerry Gold Irish butter.Final note: splash a little green El Pato sauce on top for good measure.

Now Shut up and eat!

It works if you let it!

My mind can be a dangerous territory.I heard at an AA meeting that the alcoholic has a sick mind trying to cure a sick mind.That's a scary thought. Left to my own devices,my thought process can lead me back to drinking and using, unless I continue to work a spiritual program of recovery. Now what exactly is that, and what does it mean?

I've been sober over 39 years and somedays I wake up with a sense of impending doom.It is almost as if a vulture is sitting at the end of my bed saying,"I've been waiting for you to wake up, you degenerate!" Now where the hell did that come from? But I have to laugh. If I pay too much attention to this vulture and take what these voices tell me too seriously, I am doomed for sure! I have to remember that Bill Wilson suffered from depression for many years. I have too.

It has been an uphill climb for me throughout my sobriety.Although I've been sober way longer than I drank, it still occurs to me that I am still only one drink away from a drunk.The good news is the program will work US in our time of need. Stuff often happens that it out of our control. This has nothing to do with not "Working the program"per se. This is just about life in general.

It is my contention that the twelve steps will, at the most surprising times, take over when we least expect it. Lately, I have been saying following the Serenity prayer..."It works if you let it!" This is usually at the end of the meeting when most people will say, "It works if you work it!" Granted, one has to follow the twelve suggested steps in order for them to take hold, but once they do, we must get out of the way and let our Higher Power direct our thinking.

Moving Forward

Last week I posted a picture from a news article regarding my livelihood,painting rocks.This article has generated a lot of interest and compliments by those who saw my picture on the front of the Calistoga Tribune's inserted edition entitled,"Mud City Weekend".It was truly an honor how I was presented.Christine Plant is a talented columnist who puts those she writes about in the best possible light.This piece has generated new business for me and has encouraged me to grow my business even more.I've saved a few copies of the paper to show my relatives when I go to visit them this week

Now the question becomes... How do I top that? Well, after taking off for a few days and missing the last weekend of farmer's markets,there will be plenty of time to regroup and reflect on the past year.Perhaps I will have a better idea as to the direction my work is taking me,henceforth.

Dubuque,Iowa is where I will be traveling to visit my eldest sister, Mary Ann. The trip is a gift from my other elder sister,Rita.She is currently nursing a fractured bone in her foot,and recuperating from a bad case of the flu.I sincerely hope that she recovers soon,because our flight will be leaving from Oakland on Wednesday, July 27th.A few family members from the west coast contingency will be attending this celebration/family reunion.My brother's children and grandchildren will be there,along with my nephew Edward's wife and children.Expectations are kept to a minimum during these events,just to keep the peace.No one wants to start a row with these Leprachauns.

During my sister Mary Ann's Jubilee event several years ago, I got into a questionable Croquet game with my grand nephew, Seamus. It ended up where I was beaten,only because the little cheat made up his own rules!! Needless to say,it was an embarrassing moment enjoyed by the rest of the family who had been listening through a kitchen window as the whole thing came down.I was pissed, and am still reminded of that donnybrook to this day. Below is a picture of some of the people who will be there. (Mark,Brianna,Nicole and Noah) who recently visited the west coast to visit the folks out here.

Hitting the big time

Today is Friday, July 8th and an article about me came out in the local paper ( i.e. The Calistoga Tribune ) I tried to find the hyperlink to this article but one has to be a subscriber to the paper to view the online version ... oh well. I scanned the front page, so you can see what the cover looks like. Everyone at the Farmer's Market has been calling me a celebrity. I just feel a little shy about that notion. I do like the publicity it has brought to my business however.

Hearing and Vision

I drew this awhile ago, with no particular girl in mind.I think she is my dream girl. I modified it Photoshop to get the colors and effect I wanted. I scanned the drawing which was done on a thick textured Canson paper. My eyes are playing tricks on me lately, and my vision and hearing are not what they used to be. Ambient noise is bothersome, and objects that are further than two feet become blurry and fragmented.I find myself asking people to repeat what they said.Sometimes I smile stupidly like a foreign person that doesn't understand the language. I wear a pair of pharmacy magnifiers with 2.25 strength. Color has not been a problem though, nor has my hand to eye coordination. I don't know what I would do with myself if I couldn't draw or paint. Ahhh.. the things I used to take for granted as a youth.