Saturday, August 18, 2007

The Razor's edge

It is Saturday morning and I am just getting myself ready to head off to work. Today is another oppurtunity to get it right. I had a nice conversation with my program pal, Alphonse (not his real name). He is twenty years my senior, but I have some years on him as far as "The Program" goes. He works at the Vets home, and he is a Veteran of the Korean war. I find it difficult to write this blog, because I am couching some remarks with thoughts that he might end up reading this stuff.

At times, I think these petty concerns border on paranoia. Anyway, AL is a counselor there and he is a very affable fellow. It is easy to chat with him, and we both come from large families. He and I both were the baby boys in our respective families.We talked about our backgrounds and things that might be bothering us lately. Mostly, that we have a hard time trusting women, and that this is reoccuring theme that keeps playing itself out the lives of recovering alcoholic men. Were we scolded by domineering mothers that keep reappearing in our lives? It is especially difficult to reframe situations where we can just as easily be ourselves, but end up stuffing our emotions. Why must this difficulty surfacing ? More will be revealled in time, I am sure.

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