I've been sober over 39 years and somedays I wake up with a sense of impending doom.It is almost as if a vulture is sitting at the end of my bed saying,"I've been waiting for you to wake up, you degenerate!" Now where the hell did that come from? But I have to laugh. If I pay too much attention to this vulture and take what these voices tell me too seriously, I am doomed for sure! I have to remember that Bill Wilson suffered from depression for many years. I have too.
It has been an uphill climb for me throughout my sobriety.Although I've been sober way longer than I drank, it still occurs to me that I am still only one drink away from a drunk.The good news is the program will work US in our time of need. Stuff often happens that it out of our control. This has nothing to do with not "Working the program"per se. This is just about life in general.
It is my contention that the twelve steps will, at the most surprising times, take over when we least expect it. Lately, I have been saying following the Serenity prayer..."It works if you let it!" This is usually at the end of the meeting when most people will say, "It works if you work it!" Granted, one has to follow the twelve suggested steps in order for them to take hold, but once they do, we must get out of the way and let our Higher Power direct our thinking.